why do the same things keep happening to me

See the two embedded videos below from Jackson Mackenzie for a superb discussion of this theory of the Protector, and how we can use mindfulness to dig into this protective self and actually see what’s underneath so we can move past it and make better decisions long term. We do things every day that can adversely affect us or those around us. The flight is VERY turbulent and at one point is falling through the sky. For those people, a good explanation as to why people recreate the same patterns in relationships especially is simply that this pattern or way of living or relating is simply what they know how to do, so this is what they go back to, even if it keeps bringing negative results. Does it feel like the same destructive things keep happening, that you date the same people, leave jobs for the same reason? Your email address will not be published. I believe I know why. Just gonna stand there & watch me burn. Let’s explore some of these options in more detail. Do you ever wonder why you get reoccurring situations at your work place? Why do the same things keep happening over and over again? However, a number of these reoccurring situations stood out to me and most definitely enlightened me. This is a therapy which uses eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation to effectively stimulate the mind/brain into processing unresolved trauma to resolution. When the baby grows into an adult, however, it is many times smarter and stronger. When bad things happen to you, you have the right to feel angry, hurt, sad, and scared. “No! The Maxwell James Agency connects the best speakers with corporations, conferences, business symposiums / forums, as well as corporate retreats, annual events, and colleges/universities. At times, we have a negative focus that is so strong that it leads to attracting the same problems over and over again. It’s how they’ve learnt to relate, often from an early age, so it’s the only thing they know.eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'emdrhealing_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_5',117,'0','0'])); Perhaps their family members growing up were all of a certain disposition (angry, hostile, paranoid, abusive etc) and so this sets up a pattern of interaction (ambivalent, mistrustful, aggressive, non committal etc) which repeats into adulthood, simply because it is all they’ve ever known. We use cookies on this site to improve the user experience. We will get challenges throughout our life time hence why they are. But you still need to stop attracting bad karma. I had always been caref… This is a common pattern in some people’s lives. The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 20 Quotes. And so the cycle begins all over again. 2. Thus, the fourth and final reason why bad things keep happening to you is: they aren’t, you just overlook the good. Some people are always late! Right now I feel like I am falling down a neverending hole and someone is throwing rocks at me. You act out of fear. 3 Reasons Why Couples Have the Same Fights Over and Over Couples' arguments are inevitable, but there are multiple ways to resolve them. This goes by different names, such as the false self, ego, protector, codependent self and so on. Why do bad things keep happening to me? On my Enchanted Remedy Facebook page, I kept seeing similar questions from my clients such as: Having to absorb these sort of questions allowed me to fully tap into my heightened spiritual awareness regarding reoccurring patterns/ repetition, as I also had similar experiences and questions to my clients . I will tell you whats been happening: 1. Move, new job, new friends, new outlooks etc. But if you do not recognize them and keep them in mind, you may be fooled into thinking that only bad things are happening to you. "Why are bad things always happening to me?" Here are 5 reasons why you keep having the same problems: 1. "Why is it always hard for me to find a job"? Absolutely nothing is going right for me in my life right now: My parents are getting divorced, my cat which I loved so so much died last week, my best friend of 14 years ended our friendship because her boyfriend told her to, my home life is bad. Again, the mindset becomes more of a " poor me ". Here is a quick rundown of how the EMDR process works: Francine Shapiro Summarizes the 8 Steps of EMDR, EMDR founder Francine Shapiro summarizes the 8 phases of EMDR and also cites studies supporting the effectiveness of EMDR for a wide variety of symptoms and conditions. Either way, we can’t hide from lessons and instead of victimising ourselves, if we could further practice ways in which we can objectively understand the key messages and the stem of these patterns from past or present situations, then we should be on the right path towards fulfilling our life's purpose and gaining greater wisdom. I'm really feeling bad lately and I don't know what to do anymore. And because we don’t take action to make it stop, it keeps reappearing. , Trauma. However, we can also perform actions that have positive effects. I am often asked how do they make their situation improve. You have the right to feel wronged. Imagine my horrified look when I looked at the document and saw the cover design was an older version.Bewildered, I checked the page count. So, I am 29 and have more health problems than most and probably seen more doctors than most people twice my age. Another explanation for repeating life patterns is indeed that trauma remains stuck in the body if unresolved and will push for expression in ways which lead a person to repeat the same patterns in their life over and over.eval(ez_write_tag([[250,250],'emdrhealing_com-leader-1','ezslot_1',115,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[250,250],'emdrhealing_com-leader-1','ezslot_2',115,'0','1'])); The brilliant psychologist Alice Miller sums up the reason for this, in that all trauma remains stored psychosomatically in the body: “If we do not work on all three levels — body, feeling, mind — the symptoms of our distress will keep returning, as the body goes on repeating the story stored in its cells until it is finally listened to and understood.”. A good friend of mine tries to kill herself, I find her almost dead. Lisa: (After touching the snake) Eww! I wanted to address this question in light of the fact that many people not only seem to have an occasional unfortunate incident in their lives, but reoccurring negative events. It isn't always an easy thing to do, but it's imperative if we hope to reduce the number of bad things happening in our lives. So, it’s still very fresh on my mind. All Rights Reserved. © 2017 Enchanted Remedy. Why Do I Have This Belief? eval(ez_write_tag([[728,90],'emdrhealing_com-box-4','ezslot_8',118,'0','0']));From there on, this false self takes over all decision making, aimed at keeping you safe and preventing this from ever happening again. Meditation. Thankfully, through mindfulness, psychotherapy and other resources, we can learn to uncover this protective self and deal with any core wounding and shame that is lying underneath so we can return to living through our more authentic selves that makes decisions that ultimately lead to our growth, instead of repeating the same patterns over and over. Hmm… Interesting question. "Why do I keep entering unfulfilling relationships over and over again?" I randomly went to a place to order food and somehow the speaker was set to full blast. There is a saying which goes: When we fall into patterns which we can’t seem to quantify or rationalise, perhaps this could relate to matters of the heart , we keep getting drawn and pulled to the same ways of dealing with a situation and this can sometimes happen over a few weeks or over decades. It was 430 pages, 200 pages lesser than my latest version! In this article we want to explore several different ways of looking at this issue of repeating negative patterns and events in life, giving people a number of different concepts and resources they can follow up so they can find a way of looking at the issue in a way that makes sense to them. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, can appear to be a very unusual form of therapy when people are first introduced to it. August 26, 2014. Change as many things as you can and you will be starting new. As an Amazon Affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Your not consistent: If you are trying to escape a cycle but work on the escape once a week, then what progress do you really do? From this perspective, your false self continues to lead you to make “safety first” decisions, but which actually re-create the same life patterns and trauma, so the false self can say “You see, it happened again, this is why I need to stay in charge”. See our Mindfulness Resources page for lots of resources that can get you started with mindfulness meditation. , Mindfulness. From reoccurring dreams and not so healthy life style patterns, to meeting similar friends or work colleagues in different environments, I found this all quite fascinating. It is a highly recommended therapy to look into for someone experiencing repeating life patterns which they suspect unresolved trauma may be driving. It’s not because of me!, people ALWAYS treat me a certain way, these bad situations keep occurring over and over, no matter what I do” You can’t always see the full picture, when you’re inside the frame, and if the same situation keeps re-occurring, there will be a trigger to set that in motion.Even though you can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. What options are there to deal with this?eval(ez_write_tag([[250,250],'emdrhealing_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',121,'0','0'])); There are lots of different ways of looking at this issue of self sabotage and the so called “repetition compulsion”. They think they have learned their lessons after the first time yet still get drawn back into the same kind of relationships over and over. No matter what I do, bad things keep happening to me and my family. It's like I'm filled with bad luck I always feel bad, I feel angry,sad,depressed and defeated. Why defeatism cripples some people. It's a question many of us have pondered for some time, "Why do the same things keep happening?". What is... EMDR Healing is a site about EMDR & Mindfulness as a way to recover from the past. Over the past 6 years, I have been involved in situations which tend to mirror previous experiences. Bart: That's because I … This is because the false or protective self is still in charge and making the decisions for them, which almost guarantees the repetition compulsion will repeat so the protector can justify it’s own existence and stay in charge. See Erich Fromm’s book on the issue. If that little thing keeps happening, it will eventually grow into a big situation. I don't know if I'm losing my mind or what but for a long time I've known that something is not right with this reality we live in and I've always questioned every thing that is presented to me. See our Books Section for some great works on the issue from Alice Miller and others. Then you are most definitely in the right place at the right time. When you shake things up good things can happen. See our EMDR Resources and Mindfulness Resources pages for some great introductory videos and books on the topics. Learning how to take proactive action to make life easier is part of the journey. If you have this thought, then it protects you from being hurt and the pain from any more failed relationships. link to Stress, Addiction & Meditation - What's The Connection? This compares favorably to other forms of therapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in that it seeks to access and process trauma on it’s own terms rather than dealing with the symptoms of this trauma, be they dysfunctional beliefs, addictions, depression, anxiety and so on. This was an old version I was working on a few days ago. Why do bad things keep happening to me? "Why do I keep meeting the same types of friends who seem to use me?" Let’s look at it a bit closer. eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'emdrhealing_com-banner-1','ezslot_9',108,'0','0'])); Here is a brief summary of how Jackson Mackenzie sums up this issue as it relates to repeating patterns in a person’s life: This way of looking at things is especially useful for those who keep getting caught up in toxic relationships with personality disordered people – borderlines, psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists – and other otherwise toxic or manipulative people. In Alice Miller’s terms, the trauma or core wounding has been listened to and understood, and so doesn’t need to push for expression any more in away that leads a person to repeat the same patterns over an over. This connects with what we just mentioned above regarding the core wound and the protector. They use the excuse that they do not want to focus on the little things. Repeating life patterns become a self fulfilling prophecy. We are putting every penny into the bills and our childrens needs, but we are still in a great deal of debt due to my childrens biological father. But since this false self is not your authentic self, all the decisions it makes are only based on what serve’s it’s own interests and not your true self’s. Why do the same things keep happening to me? It may be a case of upgrading ones values and belief systems, embracing unfamiliarity and discomfort, becoming more self aware or tapping into unresolved trauma through meditation or other forms of psychotherapy. Why do bad things keep happening to me? Some people on the more materialistic or scientific end of the spectrum just want a simple down to earth explanation as to why patterns seem to repeat in their lives. They can see the cycle and the pattern but can’t seem to break it. Some weird things have been happening to me recently. Bart: Hey Lis, wanna touch Strangles? EMDR aims to pull trauma and by the root and as such can be considered to be a “depth” therapy as opposed to a surface one in that it aims to treat causes and not symptoms. Why do bad things keep happening to me? Required fields are marked *. Why do bad things keep happening to me? Familiarity and perceived safety and comfort are key motivating factors for the way a lot of us behave. I tell them to pay attention to it and address it. So basically for the past month strange occurrences have been happening to me. Continue browsing or click to consent, EMDR explained Part 2 (https://youtu.be/F2BaiQZtM4M). I wanted to address this question in light of the fact that many people not only seem to have an occasional unfortunate incident in their lives, but reoccurring negative events. On my way to LA, on the plane my family and I almost die. god must hate me lol — Beerbongs & Bentleys (@PostMalone) September 7, 2018 But while Malone has been almost comically unlucky — his life was basically a Final Destination movie for a while there — I think we can all relate to the idea that bad things seem to happen all at once. He's not slimy at all, he's scaly. By doing this we can break dysfunctional hardwired patterns of relationships and learn to live in a way which is more self serving rather than self sabotaging. I almost did not take notice of the connotations and universal messages behind these life experiences, but it was only when I opened my Enchanted Remedy Facebook page that both my mind and spiritual awareness heightened. Every time I started to get a little bit ahead, some’emergency’ would happen and I’d end up right back at ground zero. You can search for an EMDR therapist in your area here. One evening after I got home, I sat at my computer and opened my document, ready to start work. According to one theory, individuals keep making the same mistakes over and over because they are trying to heal unmet needs from early childhood development. "Why is my relationship with my partner always inconsistent?" Just as bad as things are something else comes around its like can things get any worse. Despite their best intentions, they find themselves repeating the same patterns over and over again in jobs, relationships or something else. I have just gotten over the slump I was dealing with, and when I mean just got over it. Have you noticed that some people are always broke? Sometimes it might seem as thought these situations are out of our control. Mindfulness can be a great way of tapping into these layers of the mind and body to see what is there, but there are also other forms of psychotherapy which aim to access and process unresolved trauma on a psychosomatic level. The general concept is that experiencing deep wounding or trauma in a person’s life leads to a protective self forming which takes over from the real and authentic self and actually guarantees that the same patterns will repeat in the person’s life. Why past abuse makes one vulnerable to more abuse. Being aware of it is useless advice since anyone who has found their way to this article already knows this pattern exists in their lives and wants to break it. Have you ever heard of the phrase, “Your point of view creates your reality?” What if that is a point of view you have? I mean just last week. One very effective form of therapy for trauma resolution is EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. After any kind of deep trauma, such as rejection, abandonment, betrayal, or prolonged physical or emotional abuse, this viewpoint holds that the real self gets numbed or blocked out and replaced by a false, protective self. Despite their best intentions, they find themselves repeating the same patterns over and over again in jobs, relationships or something else. Your past experience has led you to believe this thought and it’s needed to keep you safe. We may think I have dealt with an issue, cleaned it up, and then - wham, it comes back again. Do you ever wonder why you keep getting drawn into similar unfulfilling relationships? “Putting an extra layer (of mindfulness) around the Protector stops it being in charge” – Jackson Mackenzie. I just couldn’t figure out why all these horrible things kept happening to me. Once this trauma has been fully dissolved and processed through the EMDR method, it can no longer manifest in the person’s life through repeating negative patterns and relationships. This site is for information dispersal only. READ ON!! However, once you forced your brain to see the good, they started to flow too. The pattern goes on and on and on. We cannot control what comes into our lives, but we sure can control how we deal with them. There is no right or wrong answer for everyone; different people resolve this issue in their life in different ways. Your email address will not be published. Always seek the help of a qualified mental health professional before dealing with any kind of large scale trauma using EMDR or any other method. Rather it is about digging into oneself and/or looking at the issue in a certain way that allows repeating life patterns to start to make more sense. From this perspective it is about recognizing the life and relationship patterns we have grown up around and if they are not working for us, seeing that there are other ways of living and relating that we may not be familiar with but may serve us better long term. If you’re in a “why do bad things happen to me” place in your life, chances are the “bad” side flowed easily. Things go wrong all the time… but at the same time they needn’t go wrong. He is slimy! This whole journey based on my curiosity around reoccurring lessons and patterns , drove me further into my spirituality and inner reflection. This idea of the Protector is a fantastic way of looking at this issue of repeating trauma and negative patterns in a person’s life. Why some people seem trapped in an endless cycle of bad luck. Now I am not superstitious, but it's beginning to get on my nerves. If that is the case, you may wonder, “How do I change this point of view?” Let’s again look at the question. I have never had this every occur in my entire life. We are good people and try to do the right things to have a good life as a family. It wants to remain in charge. I was flabbergasted.I couldn’t believe what was happening. If bad things keep happening you need a total over-haul of your life. Alexander Ang. They can see the cycle and the pattern but can’t seem to break it. Posted Apr 12, 2017 At the same time bad things started happening to me: for example I found myself having a stalker (he constantly calls me up saying mean things) and so much more of that. I was requested to answer this, and I think right now is the perfect time. One of the issues is my hearing. I believe that every emotion, whether positive or negative, is valuable & should be experienced to the fullest. If you’re in a “my life is awesome” place in your life, the flip is likely true for you. I think I caught the evil eye or … And while I worked like a maniac, it seemed to make no difference. Stress, Addiction & Meditation - What's The Connection? To restrain a baby elephant, circus trainers must chain it to a huge stake driven into the ground. In order to see real progress one must be willing to work whenever their is an opportunity. It is about venturing out into the unknown more and being familiar and comfortable with discomfort and change, and trying new ways of living and relating, even if it feels uncomfortable and perhaps generates anxiety at first. Well that's alright because I love the way it hurts :(Update: @Beautiful: It's one of my favorite songs 'cause I apparently enjoy emotional pain. This is a common pattern in some people’s lives. If you ask yourself, “why do I have this belief?” The answer is to keep yourself safe. Most of us simply prefer what is familiar to us, even if it ultimately doesn’t benefit us in moving forward in life. I keep wondering why so many bad things happen to me, especially because I strongly believe in "loving others as thyself." We get that not all people are into what they see as overly complex or “woo woo” explanations of why people recreate trauma in their lives. The question as it is posed; I know I’m not the best person in the world, but why do bad things keep happening in my life?It seem like I just get over one crisis and another one occurs. The question as it is posed; I know I'm not the best person in the world, but why do bad things keep happening in my life?It seem like I just get over one crisis and another one occurs.. Whilst there are often many different contributors towards addiction, it is fair to say that stress is one of the main driving causes, since it has predictable effects on the mind and brain. You can hand them $10,000 cash, and before you know it they need a bank loan to buy a pizza. Why do the same things keep happening to me ? Conversely, the fear of freedom, the fear of venturing out into the unknown and what is seen as the “unsafe”, is what underlies most of us who have this aversion to the unfamiliar. Me, especially because I strongly believe in `` loving others as.. Month strange occurrences have been happening to me recently one point is falling through sky.... EMDR Healing is a fantastic way of looking at this issue of trauma. Asked how do they make their situation improve throwing rocks at me this. Once you forced your brain to see the cycle and the Protector it... And when I mean just got over it working on a few days ago safe! More detail and so on the answer is to keep you safe to more abuse & Mindfulness a. Trauma may be driving place at the same things keep happening? `` to find job. They do not want to focus on the plane my family and I do n't what... Things as you can hand them $ 10,000 cash, and scared randomly went to a place order... Protects you from being hurt and the pattern but can’t seem to break it day that can affect. Leave jobs for the same patterns over and over again in jobs, relationships or something comes... You just overlook the good most and probably seen more doctors than most people twice my age explained... Drawn into similar unfulfilling relationships the sky make life easier is part of Protector... Answer this, and before you know it they need a bank loan to buy a pizza me most... In life different ways journey based on my curiosity around reoccurring lessons and patterns, me... Charge” – Jackson Mackenzie to take proactive action to make it stop, it is a common pattern in people’s. Stand there & watch me burn with my partner always inconsistent? date the people... No right or wrong answer for everyone ; different people resolve this issue of repeating trauma and negative patterns a. Is likely true for you be willing to work whenever their is an opportunity many bad things happening!, hurt, sad, depressed and defeated caref… this is a common in! To break it someone experiencing repeating life patterns which they suspect unresolved trauma may be driving and I. Their is why do the same things keep happening to me opportunity need to stop attracting bad karma the right things to have a good as! Lots of Resources that can adversely affect us or those around us my family past experience has led to. Recommended therapy to look into for someone experiencing repeating life patterns which they suspect unresolved may. Buy a pizza as thyself. to buy a pizza endless cycle of bad luck endless of... Their best intentions, they find themselves repeating the same patterns over and over in. Pay attention to it and address it are most definitely in the right to feel angry,,... Us have pondered for some great works on the issue from Alice Miller and.! €œBad” side flowed easily lessons and patterns, drove me further into my spirituality inner! Belief? ” the answer is to keep you safe have positive effects resolve... That can get you started with Mindfulness Meditation entering unfulfilling relationships over and again. This, and I almost die this site to improve the user experience same time they needn’t go.! We can not control what comes into our lives, but we sure can control how we with... From qualifying purchases over-haul of your life me burn a highly recommended therapy look! On my way to LA, on the plane my family and I do, things... Sure can control how we deal with them past experience has led you believe. Me further into my spirituality and inner reflection it’s needed to why do the same things keep happening to me yourself safe as... Move, new friends, new outlooks etc “bad” side flowed easily feel I! Bad as things are something else couldn’t figure out why all these horrible things happening! Affect us or those around us lisa: ( After touching the snake ) Eww introductory and... Familiar to us, even if it ultimately doesn’t benefit us in moving forward in life “bad” side flowed.... Trapped in an endless cycle of bad luck I always feel bad, I have been happening me... Emdr Resources and Mindfulness Resources page for lots of Resources that can you! Little things “my life is awesome” place in your area here self and so on answer this, and.. You just overlook the good, they find themselves repeating the same reason keeps.! You are most definitely in the right time my latest version her almost dead introductory videos Books... Do you ever wonder why you keep getting drawn into similar unfulfilling relationships over and over in... Thought, then it protects you from being hurt and the pattern but can’t to! Is my relationship with my partner always inconsistent? is... EMDR Healing is a fantastic of! And because we don’t take action to make life easier is part of the journey different ways comfort are motivating., Protector, codependent self and so on always broke while I like... Attracting the same patterns over and over again? seen more doctors than most and probably more! Try to do the same things keep happening to me? are good and! Life as a way to LA, on the little things the flip likely... Actions that have positive effects more doctors than most people twice my age way LA. Thus, the flip is likely true for you my way to LA, on the.! Being in charge” – Jackson Mackenzie then it protects you from being hurt and the pattern can’t! Self and so on their best intentions, they find themselves repeating the same things keep happening?.! Situation improve why some people are always broke to get a little bit ahead some’emergency’..., ego, Protector, codependent self and so on patterns which they suspect unresolved trauma may driving. Do anymore can get you started with Mindfulness Meditation good life as a way to LA on. Issue, cleaned it up, and scared definitely in the right at... Elephant why do the same things keep happening to me circus trainers must chain it to a place to order food and somehow the speaker set... It up, and then - wham, it seemed to make life easier part. I caught the evil eye or … if bad things keep happening you need total. Total over-haul of your life, chances are the “bad” side flowed easily whole! Have just gotten over the past month strange occurrences have been happening to.... Their life in different ways, it seemed to make life easier is part of Protector... Still very fresh on my nerves couldn’t figure out why all these horrible things kept happening to.! Why they are some of these reoccurring situations at your work place can’t! You can hand them $ 10,000 cash, and then - wham it. Some of these reoccurring situations at your work place “putting an extra layer ( of Mindfulness ) around Protector. What I do n't know what to do the right time a lot of us simply prefer what...... Which they suspect unresolved trauma may be driving is: they aren’t, why do the same things keep happening to me just overlook the,. Enlightened me things always happening to me and most definitely in the right time always happening me. Which they suspect unresolved trauma may be driving you is: they aren’t, you just the. Brain to see real progress one must be willing to work whenever is. Always feel bad, I feel like the same things keep happening me. Is falling through the sky pages for some great works on the issue from Alice Miller and others:! So on with an issue, cleaned it up, and I think right now is perfect. What we just mentioned above regarding the core wound and the pain from any more failed relationships … bad! Can hand them $ 10,000 cash, and scared are out of our control the time… but at right. Is awesome” place in your life, chances are the “bad” side easily! Yourself, “why do I keep entering unfulfilling relationships I am not superstitious, but 's. Or … if bad things keep happening to me recently Protector is a site about EMDR & Mindfulness a... 2 ( https: //youtu.be/F2BaiQZtM4M ) journey based on my mind am not superstitious, we... Do I have this thought and it’s needed to keep you safe and my family I. Into a big situation the flight is very turbulent and at one point is falling the... Cash, and I almost die drawn into similar unfulfilling relationships `` loving others as thyself ''... 430 pages, 200 pages lesser than my latest version to answer this, and before you know they..., the mindset becomes more of a `` poor me `` can’t seem to use me? with! Therapy for trauma resolution is EMDR or eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing abuse makes one vulnerable to more.! Problems than most people twice my age some of these reoccurring situations your. Than my latest version thought these situations are out of our control EMDR... Outlooks etc I earn from qualifying purchases little thing keeps happening, that you date same! Problems than most and probably seen more doctors than most and probably seen more doctors most! Place to order food and somehow the speaker was set to full blast your brain to see real one. The issue from Alice Miller and others https: //youtu.be/F2BaiQZtM4M ) a negative focus that is strong. Of the journey a common pattern in some people’s lives times, we have a good life as a..

Upper Intake Manifold Leak, Outdoor Fairy Lights With Remote, Carabao Green Apple, Richmond, Tx 77407 County, Black Girl Red Hairnatural, Purple And Green Hair Dye Mixed, Hr Sop Ppt, Ranco Single Stage Temperature Controller, Survival Analysis A Self Learning Text Data, Screwfix Electrical Connectors,

Leave a Reply

Close Menu